This morning as my brother left to school I could hear my mother saying, "be careful and stay away from trouble." She gives him little pep talks and/or words of encouragement each morning so it was nothing new however, it was a bit more sincere. Over the weekend, a 15 year old boy was shot and killed at an annual event that is held in my city. To add insult to injury, this happened on Mother's Day. My mother encourages my brother to steer clear of trouble and the wrong type of company for reasons like that.
Moving right along...
Shortly after leaving home my brother called my mother's phone and I understood that my brother couldn't get into class because of an incident that had taken place two weeks ago at school. When my mother got off the phone she told me what he had told her and she said that he was not allowed to enter the SCHOOL. I was confused and I wanted to believe that my mother misunderstood what my brother said and that my brother was actually denied access into a classroom. I then asked her where was my brother at and she said he was outside of his school; that is when I told her we would be going up there. Because of my educational background, I know it is wrong for the school to carry out such actions due to in loco parentis. When a parent or guardian sends their child off to school, the educators serve the same purpose as a parent during those school hours. To hear that my brother was denied access into school and was hanging around outside until my mother and I arrived did not put me at ease.
I did not want to lose sight of the initial problem at hand so my mother and I addressed my brother. The story that my brother told us did not match the story that the 'disciplinarian' told us but as an adult, we respected and acknowledged what the educator told us. I am a realist so I was not going to act like I have the perfect brother however, my brother is an honor roll student and an athlete.
After telling the educator that we will deal with the issue to assure it does not happen again, he then asked me what was the point I was trying to get at. I began by telling him that I felt is was unprofessional and wrong for him to deny my brother access into the school building. I told him that the incident took place 2 weeks ago so I did not understand why it has taken so long for him to address my brother or why my family was not notified of what happened. I also went on to tell him that we sent my brother off to school this morning placing full responsibility of my brother's well being and safety on the school. I said that if anything had happened to my brother upon being rejected into the school building, then the school would have been at fault. What he said next is what shocked me the most. He told me I should not focus on 'what ifs' and that I should live in the present and address the problem at hand. I had to explain to him that just as he is educated, I am educated as well. I explained to him that accidents happen easily... within the blink of an eye bad things could happen so I have every right to think about what could have happened. The conversation with him did not go so well but we wrapped it up and began to walk out the school building but then my mother and I looked at each other and said no, we couldn't let it go. We then went back into the office and asked to speak to the principal since the conversation with the disciplinarian did not go so well.
The same thing we said to the disciplinarian, we said to the principal. I told her that whatever issue it was involving my brother, the school should have dealt with it appropriately. I told her that we did not care whether my brother was right or wrong, the school or rather the disciplinarian should have taken the appropriate disciplinary measures. She was shocked when I told her how long ago the event took place, we were not contacted about any of it, and how the disciplinarian told me not to worry about what could have happened. I brought up the recent incident of the young boy who was killed, and I said to her... "what if the boy didn't attend that event ? That is why I am so stuck on what could have happened." She nodded her head in agreement.
The principal appreciated the fact that I acknowledged that my brother may have been wrong and that we were going to deal with it. She expressed to me that the way the situation was handled was wrong, and that that is not how the school operates. She also said that we had every right to wonder what could have happened because if anything had happened the school would have been at fault. She apologized on the behalf of the disciplinarian and assured us that something like that will never happen again.
To sum this all up... I think my brother's safety was more important than the banner that he said my brother had ripped off a wall. If in fact my brother did rip down the banner to be cruel and deviant, then he should have had to pay for those actions, but even that did not happen. Instead, he was denied access into the school building two weeks later by a disciplinarian.
The message I want to send is that sometimes it is important to ask your child what is going on at school. It is important to be informed and aware of what is acceptable and what is not. Too often students in urban areas are treated unfairly and the parents are not aware or do not bother to take the appropriate actions because they do not understand the law or do not how things are supposed to be operated.
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